Hey, as a kid I was a HUGE Star Wars fan- if you’ve read the fourth issue of my old comic series you already know that. Star Wars to me is episodes 4-6, with 6 (Return of the Jedi) being the weakest of the 3. Episodes 1-3 as they stand are nice to look at, but SERIOUSLY they aren’t the prologue that ANYONE expected- BUT after allowing 4-6 to become iconic in most any young adult’s mind (as mind that had grown up since then), doing 1-3 was an IMPOSSIBLE act for most folks. Lucas would have been branded as a genius, no matter how many folks dissected 4-6, if he had left well enough alone and said- “Know what? I’m totally bored with that universe and I’m gonna let someone else go do 1-3- I got other things to do.” THAT Lucas would have remained a genius to me, and quite frankly he still could have done 1-3 and put another name on it, or better still found a few up and comers to do them with the same fire in their gut as he has when he was riding over eps 4 and 5. No such luck.
Episodes 1-3 were a mess. Quite honestly he should have come up with a totally different name for them, but no, he had a fat cow that could be milked and bled and that’s exactly what he did. The introduction of The Clone Wars in ep2 was clunky to say the LEAST, and I still have a rough time rationalizing it out. The stormtrooper clones were labeled as EVIL in eps 4-6, and now they’re running with the good guys? Just what does that say about the good guys? Shoddy plotting if you ask me, and VERY bad space opera- let alone becoming confusing for a smaller audience, I thought the rebels were a metaphor for the Americans breaking free of the colonies, instead its just a cluster fuck of mistakes and bad politics. Storm troopers should always be BAD, Jedis should always be good, or at least try to be, and Sith lords craving independence and being branded as evil is just plain UN-American if you ask me, and it’s a major cluster fuck on Lucas’ part to do things the way that they did. The basic lesson he’s putting out there now is “rebellion is bad, machines are bad, genetic manipulations are good, following orders from your superiors is mostly good, but if they get too much power they either become totally evil and politically screw you, or totally naïve and they are overrun by the politically evil”. All in all, some pretty lousy statements.
That being said, when the Cartoon Network started their Clone Wars cartoon I thought it was not only crappy, but way too short. The episodes were short situations, the art was too simplified, anime influenced and downright dull, and the storytelling and the writing a solid mess. Though my opinions of the artwork has shifted from crap to “stylized- I guess”, I have yet to take the time to sit and watch a number of these episodes in order just to see if they are remotely better than I think they are. I’m willing to be wrong, just not spend the time at the moment to find out.
Now we have another film, an example of new style of animation and a new series that I understand Lucas and crew have a huge number already done, in the can, and ready to go. My initial reaction that it was going to be shown on Cartoon Network (the basis of a good lot of other postings that I have yet to do) made me wary, but hey, I was under the understanding that this was a fresh take on the universe, with little if any main characters from parts 1-6 even showing up, and NOTHING to do with the first cartoon series (Boy, was I misinformed on those points completely!). I also read that Lucas was encouraging his animators to stay away from the cartoon series and aim for a more solid quality of animation, using Gerry Anderson’s Thunderbirds as an example of the style he was thinking of. Those points made me want to go see this “3 episode of the new series rammed together into a movie for theater” despite all the reviews and the fact that I had a buddy go see it opening day and warn me that it wasn’t all that good, I should have listened.
So you’ve got this clunky war, introduced in episodes 2 and 3, that really wasn’t making much sense, added to situations, characters, and basic body styles from this simplified anime abortion that was on Cartoon Network, mashed together into an animated style that was watchable for the most part, but VERY irritating in others- focusing on characters that were not only acted by other, dare I say it BETTER actors in real films, al mish-mashed into a clunky horrible story… MAN, this movie was a MESS!!
Highpoints for me was the animation style, and most of the visuals were first rate. Despite most of the reviews I thought the characters all flow rather smoothly and the animators should be happy with the movement that gave their characters. That is literally it for highpoints.
Low points for me was the clunky war “message” Lucas was putting out there, the “look” of the beards on any of the bearded characters gave them a wooden leveled look that irritated me, the story itself was horribly put together (making Episode 1 look cohesive instead of one video game attached to another), and the very THOUGHT that this production was remotely worth putting on the big screen as opposed to leaving it to be the gemstone it will undoubtedly become over at Cartoon Network.
Obviously the editors decided to not put in a whole lot of effort to make the story coherent. Princess Amidahla (sp) was tossed in halfway through the story, then given some action, and then arced scrappily into the main storyline as almost an afterthought to the story (“Let’s kill time by bringing in someone everyone knows!”). Then, after the main story was concluded we are left with no real conclusion to the characters. There was little if any actual character building, though I found the most interesting characters to be the cloned leader with blonde hair (whose name escapes me) and the new Padawan Egyptian/cat/girlie that will STILL need some serious work to be worth their time to ad to the story. Plus the female Sith lord (Ventress I think her name was) was actually worth looking at. The caricaturing of Yoda, Doku, and Samuel Jackson was a bit pleasing at the start, but actually distracting after awhile because they looked too odd from their originals. Anakin was too old and WAY too cooperative, and Amidahlia (sp, but you know who I mean) was too young and doe eyed, and WAY too milk-toasty for my tastes, as well as unnecessary in the first place.
In short- Hooray for the animation, as long as the character doesn’t wear a beard, BOO to the writers and merchandisers. BOO to whoever thought they should release this to the theaters (I will DEFINITELY be thinking TWICE before paying to see ANYTHING labeled “Star Wars” again!)- And finally SHAME ON YOU George Lucas for badly trying to milk a cow that has already been bled to death, oh that slaughterhouse where you’ll be chewing that cow into hamburger is called The Cartoon Network, we’ve all seen their meat grinders before! At least you’ve shown us all that Howard The Duck was no accident (I thought you just couldn’t wrap your head around the late Steve Gerber’s incredibly cynical satire), and in fact Episodes 4-5 were.
Now if you take that animation style and apply it to another universe, fire your writers and replace them with folks who know a little story structure, create a NEW soap opera and write it at a ground level general audience as opposed to middle scholars with no imaginations- I’m there! Oh, and the same goes for Indiana Jones as well- that “great” little plot for the last movie was SO silly it HAD to have come from you. My advice is that you retire and enjoy your empire before too many more folks realize how far you’ve fallen. It’s always sad for folks to see their idols destroyed, especially by their own stupidity.
WAKE UP!
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